XVI - A Cup O' Kindness Yet (Part I)

I have utterly loathed 2013. It's been a horrid year filled with horrid events, horrid people and horrid occasions. I'll give the Devil his due: It's continued fighting until the bitter end.

Today, I had to attend the Jobcentre in order to claim travel expenses. Now, I can hear the heart attacks of every English person over 60 who is gasping "W-W-WHAT?! B-BUT H-H-HE'S ON THE D-D-D-DOLE!! HE C-C-C-CAN'T GET A-A-A-ANYMORE M-M-M-MONEY!!!" but rest assured that the bus service in this region is utterly awful and the cost increases at a whim, so I bloody need it. Unless there's anyone under 60 who fancies feeding me for free and paying my lodge money?

I digress. So I had to go in to claim travel expenses. Simple enough task, I thought.

When I got there, my usual Advisor wasn't there. What a shock. So I was given another Advisor, also called Wendy.

What followed was another one of those things which makes me look at the Jobcentre Plus, tilt my head, and go "Why the fuck do you even exist again?".

There was zero clue as to what to do, mostly because we never set out working hours. I could be working 9 til 5 Monday to Friday, I could be working 9 til 1 somedays and 1 til 5 the next, or I could be working 3 days out of 7 (Work Experience usually is only 25-30 hours per week. But, thanks to the economic state of Britain and the ConDem Government, a company can step over that mark, and it's not like the worker can complain. Not only is it all they've got, but they complain and that's one less reference to use. The Government won't care. They've become like our Monarchy: Pretending that it has supreme power, but is ultimately a shell and all power is just posturing. Just look at how Amazon, Google and Starbucks laughed in their faces.), but we don't know. It was never set out by anyone. 

For reference, I was told these things are USUALLY set out. Well, in Redcar at least, apparently, where the Advisors work with the businesses to set out the hours a work experience volunteer (Intern?) is to work, so that they can fit in "signing on" around the working hours.

Not for me, apparently. This gives me the utmost confidence in the JCP. Well, it gives me the utmost confidence that they'll end up violently screwing me somewhere down the line.

So, I'm stuck without a clue on that. For my travel expenses, we worked nothing out. They can either pay me in advance, or I can claim them retrospectively. I brought up that I may be getting a lift down to the place of work somedays, so they immediately suggested claiming it retrospectively.

Then they told me its best to wait til Tuesday when I sign on so we can figure something out.

"But i'll be at work experience, won't I?"

"Ah."

Honestly, the most underwhelming, worrying word in the English language is "Ah." It's a monosyllabic utterance that indicates someones either about to be extraordinarily screwed, or someonone/something has been completely and utterly screwed up. When Genghis Khan Horde's rampaged through Eastern Europe, i'm betting you that the last word uttered by every knight seeing an arrow fly towards them was "Ah." (Followed by "AGGGGHHHHHHH!!!") When Stalin had dissidents taken to Gulags, the last words they probably said was "Ah." When Britain managed to vote in the Tories despite their track records, I like to think we all sat back and went "....Ah."

It's a horrid word. And it got me.

What followed was verbal wrestling and jostling.

It's safe to say neither of us knew what the hell was going on. I assumed JCP would work with a potential employer to work out signing on days. I'm sure they assumed it would be sorted out by magic from the magical JCP pixies. Needless to say, even my signing on day is in doubt. I was basically told "Well, on Thursday, talk to your employer and see what's going on."

That was my plan anyway, but I assumed the JCP, having basically signed my rights and two months of my life to a prospective employer, would lift a finger.

So, Thursday should be fun. After all, i'm sure if you run a business, the first thing you want to hear from a volunteer is "Uh, I might not be able to work one day, cause I have to sign on." Either way, all they did was give me a number to phone (A THIRD adviser. Not even my usual adviser or the adviser I got today. That's good fucking business.) in case the shit hits the fan.

Sad but true. I need my dole. I've got lodge to pay, i've got food to buy, and if i'm working 9 til 5, Monday to Friday (For the record, I assume these'll be my working hours.), i'd like to think I wasn't doing it for nothing.

And here lies the entire problem:

It's not exactly something I can turn my nose up at. If i'm working Monday-Friday 9 til 5 for my fortnightly benefits, then that is what i'm doing. I have no choice. If i'm working for FREE, I have no choice. If I walk in every night of the weekday, lie in the entrance passageway, and slowly die, I have no choice.

Thanks to Britain.

Employment here in the North East is grim enough, that finding someone who would even take one goddamn chance with me was a battle that took several months. I can't turn down doing unpaid work for this company, because it's all i've got. I can't run to the Police or the Jobcentre complaining about my "rights" (Which I have minimal of thanks to ConDem bureaucracy.) , because all I have is my TEFL to turn to, and I can't spend the next several months sitting around, looking lost. 

This work experience is needed. If TEFL ever ends up not being for me, then this chance, this shot, is all i've got. I NEED the reference on my CV, and I need the experience. Even if i'm slaving away, it's what I need. It's all i've got. I can't turn around and go somewhere else, because there's nowhere else to go.

That is the grim reality of Middlesbrough, and I will forever rue the day I was born in such a place.

It's all I have. It's all I've got.

When I opened this blog, I said that I hoped it would have a happy ending. Consider this work experience a microcosm preview: Will there be a happy ending? Or will I be laying down until the end of February in the entrance passageway, slowly dying?

I guess we'll see.

Happy New Year.

XV - 2013 Go Home

It's been a busy and somewhat turbulent month. Christmas has been and gone, and sucked up my bank account in the maelstrom (Mostly in thanks to my half-brother who won't stop breeding, and young nephews and nieces tend not to understand the words "Uncle Phil is on the dole."), I've recently told my ex (That backstabbing braggart of a harlot.) to get the hell away from me, and if I ever see her again, I'll vomit bile onto her shoes (Which is slightly more polite than what I threatened her new boyfriend with, who gave me a nice little message regarding me and his new girlfriend. Let's just say that if we ever cross paths when there isn't an ocean separating us, I'll have a necklace made from the teeth and ear-chunks of a fat Cajun bastard.) and my sciatica has been playing up, a lovely little condition which has kept me in a state of suspended pain.

However, I'll start off 2014 in work experience.

For those who don't know, the Work Experience Scheme is another flagship Coalition scheme, put forward by the ConDem Government, that comes from the same branch and same school of thought as workfare (Which is a bid to stop dole scroungers..scrounging dole for nothing. The idea, on paper, is brilliant: You don't earn it for nothing. At any time, mostly from 6 months after joining (For the record, this is my 4th month of claiming), the JCP can and will find an employer who will offer work for you.). The Work Experience Scheme, however, is for 18-24 year olds without recent work experience: Perfect for me. 2-8 week placements of 25-30 hours a week.

The catch is that the work you do is completely unpaid for, save for your dole.

To explain: I was called at the end of the November, and referred an opportunity. I took it and attended an interview with a short task to complete. I completed the task. I was told I would be phoned back the same or following day. I wasn't. Attending the Job Centre afterwards, they said that I did have the placement, and phoned up the company to confirm that I do have the placement, and that I "impressed". This was worrying for me, because if I really did impress, where was the phonecall or e-mail? Either way, I start at a local web content company on the 2nd of January, until the 28th of February.

Though I can apparently drop out without fear of sanction (Apparently), there really is no other choice for me. Although i'll be doing up to 30 hours unpaid (Save for my dole. So it's not really unpaid.) and have no idea as to what the employer will do with me, this company is the only company that has bothered giving me a second look.

It's still in the same branch as workfare: Unpaid work, paid travel but no paid lunch. And, of course, will I get a job at the end of it?

As readers of this blog may know, whether I get a job or not at the end of it, isn't the be-all and end-all. In all fairness, I'm not expecting to get a job at the end of it. For me, I have always believed this recession to be a golden time for employers and a time of hell for employees. Face it: You're a small company, operating in an upmarket area, would YOU take someone else on if you could pick up the phone and offer to take on another dole-earning sap and have them work for free?

And for people like me, we have no choice. We work, or we get sanctioned. And keep in mind, I'm living with my parents here. Imagine what it's like for single parents or those with bills to pay. It's hard enough running an entire household when you have the JCP breathing down your neck, and 30 hours of unpaid work to fulfil. And if you've got children, that's even worse.

I'm lucky.

I am, don't get me wrong, excited to get this opportunity. The area is one of the few places left in Middlesbrough which DOESN'T look like the dumping ground for the body of a druggie, it's one of the areas being given money and care, it's upmarket. I'm working for a young upstart company, the staff are young, the premises are brilliant, and the atmosphere there was extraordinary: There was a sense of camaraderie rather than the overwhelming urge to belt the person next to you. Even during that half hour I was there for my task, the guy overlooking me was the kind of guy you'd talk to in a pub for the night, not the kind of hard-nosed dickwad supervisor who you'd pay your entire years worth of dole to just for a chance to kick him in the testicles.

I do hope I get a job at the end of it, but i'm not expecting it. Luckily for me, though, I have my TEFL to fall back on. It's going to be tough grinding it to a finish with this placement, but i'll do it.

I'm glad to be heralding in 2014 with this placement. Unpaid 30 hours per week? I don't care. The £100 fortnightly I get from the dole will be enough to cover the experience I direly need. And if I don't get a job, it's yet another back-up: This companies work is much looked for these days, in the days of IT, and i've stumbled across a fair few companies looking for these positions i'm getting experiencing in.

I'm glad to see the back of 2013.

I'm also glad that the JCP got me onto this position. Though I am critical of them (And I still have points of contention against them), they at least have helped me find a job. They've at least given me a reason to get up from next week. My university, Teesside, have done two things to help me find a job: Jack and Shit. One of my gravest mistakes was attending Teesside.

Let me say this: If you live anywhere aside from Teesside, don't attend Teesside. If you live in, say, Newcastle, with Newcastle University on your doorstep, and you choose to go to Teesside, that's like having a rump steak at home, but choosing to go out and eat gristle. Don't fall for their fluff or advertising campaigns: At the end of it, it isn't worth it. And even if you DO live in Teesside, do not attend unless you really, really, really, really cannot afford accommodation elsewhere.

I started off 2013 with nothing but working towards a degree, with no job.

I'm starting off 2014 with two aces up my sleeve: Work experience, and TEFL.

Even if I do have to postpone my plans to teach abroad due to finding a job here, It won't matter. I'll have a job. That's all I wanted in this stinkin' country that doesn't take chances with people like me. If i've found the one company who will take me on, I would work 50 hours unpaid, because just the thought that I found the one light in the darkness is good enough for me.

I'll just chew the walls for sustenance.

Who knows? Maybe 2014 will be a very good year indeed.